Saturday, September 13, 2008

Excess Douchebaggage (not a bad word imo)

Sorry guys, not exactly sports related this time. More of an observatory rant. It all started when Graham and I were discussing a few things one night and we began identifying all the different “genres” of dudes down here at SUU. On occasion one of us would come home with the discovery of a new species of douches and end up laughing for like 30 min about it. Sooooo funny! Now, some claim that I'm a hater and very opinionated (Ashley, mostly because I'm talking about the dudes always at her house), but let me explain real quick. I'm more of an observer instead of being constantly lost in the confusion of life, running around with my head cut off. Because of this, I tend to formulate opinions and theories concerning my surroundings. Other times, people think I float through life without an opinion at all and that I'm completely indifferent about anything and everything (my parents). In actuality, I'm very much a combo of the two, not a hater though, I just happen to see things people don't a lot of times. They'll figure it out someday. Ok, so, to the topic at hand. Today's douchebag genre of the week. (there's more of these to come)

Tacoma w/ Dirtbike Always in the Back Guy.”

I find that I am able to look beyond people's actions frequently and see their motives behind their actions. For this reason the Tacoma w/ Dirtbike Always in the Back Guy is so freakin' funny/ridiculous because I know why he keeps it in there, and it's not to ride.

Crucial Fact: Girls are suckers for guys with motorcycles.

The opinion of the majority of girls is that all guys are stupid. Now, this is the case for a few, but don't tag all of us as stupid, oft times we actually use that to our advantage to get out of the weird situations you and your posse of friends put us in. Also, the dudes with the dirtbikes aren't as stupid as many girls may assume (referring to their intelligence). They use this technique for many reasons: To show how hard-core they are cuz they ride dirt bikes. To start up conversation with chicks about the fact they have a dirt bike. To be like “hey, we should go on ride sometime...on my dirt bike.” "It's right there." "In the back of my truck." "See it?" In fact, I'm sure the majority of them are hunters/fishers (I'm not gonna use the term “outdoorsman”) and they definitely have learned to lure in whatever they're hunting pretty well. But the thing that bugs me about these dudes, is the fact that they do it. Another thing I don't like is falsity, these guys just walk around with a giant façade in the back of their trucks. What's great is that these dudes come with options too. Tacoma with dirt bike. F-150 with four-wheeler. Silverado with 2 dirt bikes. Switch em up if you'd like. But they NEVER TAKE THEM OUT OF THEIR TRUCKS! Unless of course it's on a “date.” They're always just strapped in there. I mean, can't you store it until you use it?

It's so easy to see and girls don't see it and I don't know how. How the tables have turned. We're the stupid ones? Seriously? It's like when I'm out fishing, I'm like “how the freak don't the fish see the huge hook jetting out of that worm??” Now, I'm in this situation, and I'm thinking “how the freak don't these chicks see this dude just waiting for girls to come ask him about his bike, that is always sitting there, in the back of his Tacoma?” Seriously kids.