Monday, January 5, 2009

Teh Gheys

Over this last summer, I was working at 26.2 Running Co. and there was this song that would always come on the radio that I totally hated and it drove me nuts. "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry. You may have seen that coming. Now, beside the message being what it is, there is a certain tone or mood that caught my attention more than just the lyrics themselves. I also noticed it in other songs, like, "So What" by Pink. Especially if you watch the music video, it's even more noticeable. Upon this thought process spawned my [theory/hypothesis/opinion/view/decision] on the subject of "teh gheys" ("the gays" for the 1337 declined). I found it interesting that this exact topic was so prevalent this fall because of the Prop 8 vote in California though I didn't engage much in the conversation. You may find this offensive and/or erroneous and I apologize in advance for any negative feelings produced as a result of my words, but not for the words themselves, it's what I feel to be the truth, at least in part, so do with them what you will.

The question of "what makes gays gay" comes up quite often in this modern society. People find the question either very easy or very hard to answer depending on their personal view of the subject. Some cite biological reasons, some psychological reasons and others just pure individual decision. I've personally pondered on the subject a few times and even though my mind was long ago set on the right vs wrong aspect of the argument, I had never really came up with a real reason behind the practice. I feel like I have unraveled a part of the mystery which I claim to be categorized as a psycho-social reason. I'm not saying I'm an expert on the subject or that this the entirety of the reasoning. Just a piece.

The "tone or mood" that I was referring to in the previously mentioned songs was a feeling of masculinity. It may be hard to see in the Katy Perry song, but it's there. I've noticed recently that there is a prevalence of masculinity among women that is increasing, although it could just be my increased awareness of its existence. Watch the Pink music video, it shows her driving down the road on a riding mower, chopping down trees, smashing guitars, etc. I'm not just picking on the media either, even though that is where it is extremely evident, it happens very often in the micro-society of Cedar City and elsewhere even more often. Look around sometime, take note of it. For some reason, many women have drifted to a more masculine attitude/personality and men have drifted more toward a feminine attitude/personality. I ran into an study backing up my opinion:

"Increasingly, men are running into a double standard of attractiveness --what women like about men's bodies and what men think is manly... The male body has arrived. Not only is it being offered up for scrutiny, it seems to be both hypermasculine and strangely feminine, a new mix that accurately reflects tremendous and ambivalent changes in our culture."


I personally am more attracted to a girl that likes to have fun and stuff, but also one that is dainty and, well, feminine. Weird, eh? I was talked into going over to this "apartment of girls" by my friend Tyrell and I was like, ok. Little did I know it was the softball girls' house. Don't get me wrong, I like girls that play sports, but this group of girls was very intimidating in a "I'm gonna beat you up" kind of way. Yeah, ha ha, I know, I'm skinny. But hey, regardless of my size, they weren't exactly, how can I put it nicely..."womanly."

Now what does this have to do with homosexuality? Haha, not a whole lot actually. I just wanted to walk you through my thought process a little without boring you excessively. On to the topic at hand:

I'm kinda laughing to myself right now just thinking of the verbal abuse I may incurr as a result of this. Maybe I'll get hundreds of letters hand delivered to me by some social group leader or something. Sorry, back to the current issue:

Look at a generic homosexual guy(I'm sterotyping, I know. Like I said, this also isn't all-encompassing). What do you normally see? A guy that dresses very nice, takes really good care of himself, talks a little higher than normal, and acts a little more feminine than normal, right? What about a homosexual girl? The word granola could come to mind. Short hair sometimes. Kinda masculine?

What I'm driving at here is that many times gays have the attributes of the opposite gender which attracts the same gender. You starting to see this?? Gay guys seems to be attracted to guys with feminine attributes. Gay women seem to be attracted to women with masculine attributes. I mean seriously, look at it. It's extremely visible to me. I don't know how to explain this any more than I have. Could it be purely psychological for some?? That's my question. Sure there's gay guys that are way masculine and gay women who are super feminie, but I've seen these type of people way too much in my own personal experience to say it doesn't exist in a vast quantity. Conclusion: Some gays believe they're gay when really they're not, being attracted to an individual displaying the attributes of the opposite gender, like a straight person is, but erroneously to an individual of the same gender.

Ok, whoa, whoa, stop yelling at your screen, I can't hear you anyways. I know this wasn't very PC or whatever, but that's not what I'm concerned about. This is merely a documentation of my thought process and if you disagree, I don't care. If you think I just finished generalizing all gays into one giant stereotype, go back and read it again. Pay attention to the parts in parenthesis.

Oh, and comment on it please.


  1. I've tried to explain this same theory to people a bunch of times before and somehow they just don't get it. I'm glad someone else is seeing what I'm seeing. Now I have an article to refer people to when they try and argue my point.

  2. Ha Ha. Hit the nail on the head again! Just remember girlies that James E Faust (may 2000 ensign) said that "Femininity is part of your inner beauty. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you." We have way too many women trying to prove how tough they are, and really they should be emphasising those naturally feminine qualities that are given to us by God. Trust me I have been guilty of the Grrrr I am so tough attitude (Nate stop laughing, you too tanner) and getting married actually has changed my views greatly! Just remember it is the world trying to skew our God given roles as women. Ok, I am off the soapbox now. Well Good job Nate, I totally agree.

  3. Wow this was very very well thought out! I never really thought about it till you wrote this and i agree, i think u are right!!!!

  4. Interesting perspective. The concept of homosexuality and how it all fits into the plan of God (or doesn't fit) has been a topic that I myself have also taken great time to study. My advice is that if you really want to understand it better- talk to a gay person. Really- have a respectful conversation with someone who is gay, and ask all these questions to them. It will open your mind even more to understanding. I am not saying you should accept homosexuality, you don't have to accept someone's behavior to understand it better. Anyway, thanks for your post. I enjoyed it.

    P.S. Did you know that women softball players are known for being lesbians?

  5. Firstly, the reason you don't see masculine gay guys, is because you just assume that all the average/masculline guys you encounter in your normal daily routines are straight. Hence your sample of gay guys is way off. You have probably seen a ton of masculine gay guys, you just didn't know they were gay. If you go to a gay event you are also going to see a misrepresentation of gay men, skewed to the more feminine side, since feminine gay men participate in gay culture much more frequently on average. I'll admit that the average gay man is not quite as "masculine" as the average straight man, but its way closer than you think.

    You are also wrong in saying that gay guys are attracted to feminine guys. The majority of gay guys are attracted to relatively masculine guys. Again the problem is that you only recognize the feminine guys as being gay. Then based on this assumption it is only natural to think that if most gay guys are feminine than most gay guys must be attracted to feminine characteristics. The problem with this is that most gay guys are of average masculinity, and the more masculine the gay guy is the more idealized he is as a sex symbol in the gay community. Feminine characteristics are in general viewed as unattractive by the majority of gay men.

    At first glance it may appear that you have great insights, but the problem is that your argument is based on filtered observations. These filtered observations lead to faulty assumptions which eventually leads to the break down of this entire post.